I have never felt homesick before. Ever. In my whole life. I’ve always been independent, adventurous, spontaneous, and couldn’t WAIT to get away from home when I was younger. But you know what? I’ve been a bit homesick lately.
But lately, for whatever reason, I’ve felt a bit lonely. It’s like the Michael Buble song “Home” where he says:
Which, essentially, is what led me to drive from here:
I’ve concluded that many times the people who are deepest and dearest to you are the ones that you knew before you got married. While this isn’t always the case, think about it…
- Who are the friends that know you the best?
- Who are the friends that you pick up where you left off every time you talk to them, no matter how long it’s been?
- Who are the friends who you’d plan a vacation to go visit?
- Usually those are your best high school friends, college friends, and family members.
I think it’s because when you get married your emotional need for a best friend is mostly filled. You tend to marry your best friend, so you don’t make as deep of connections with people. You just don’t need them as much.
I think another reason is because…we’re just plain busy! We have kids, clubs, jobs, houses, pets, family gatherings, carpools, church responsibilities, and more. We simply don’t have as much time to spend with friends as we did when we were single.
My second conclusion is this…
While I have lots of new friends, so far I don’t have anyone around me who fits into the above category of my deepest and dearest. I have good and even best friends in the state of Utah, and we even have some extended family here. BUT as a mom you tend to rely heavily on your immediate network (like your neighborhood). So while there are so many amazing people in the new city we moved to…
It seems that people’s emotional needs are filled by their deepest and dearest.
(My mom just had knee surgery and she needed a lift too. Perfect!)