Speaking my Truth

Feb 25, 2017 | Uncategorized

speaking my truth

It's 2:04 am. I should be in bed, as I have a group of 4 year olds coming over to celebrate Beck's birthday bright and early tomorrow morning (*update: I wrote this on Friday night). Yet, here I am. Mind racing, leg bouncing up and down as I try to channel my thoughts and energy and somehow try to figure out what I want to say, and how.

You probably haven't noticed, but I've had a lot on my mind lately. I'm good at hiding it. Well, maybe “hiding” it isn't the best word. Because I'm not intentionally hiding or masking anything. But on social media (and in person) I'm still focusing on the things that have been fun and lighthearted for me lately, even though my mind is racing at times (most of the time).

I take pride in being an open book. It's extremely important for me to be the exact same person online, as I am in person. Thus, the purpose of this post is to somehow try to explain to you that while everything might look fun, light-hearted, and exciting on Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube, behind the scenes things are wobbly for me, just as they might be for you.

The past year has been an interesting one for me. It's been a huge year of change. New house, new baby, new job situation for Bubba, new friends, new decade (hello 30's!), new church congregation, new goals, new opportunities and projects, new EVERYTHING. It has been fresh and exciting and fun and everything I could have hoped and dreamed!


There are still some things in my life that aren't quite…right.

I'm not in a position to share everything yet, so I apologize in advance for the intense UNDER-SHARE status of this post. I just want to get on eye level and share my journey and realizations up to this point with you, in hopes that it brings more understanding and maybe even some inspiration to the table.

I'm not exactly sure where to start, so I guess I'll start with this…

I've started going to therapy.

Yup! Me! Jordan Page! It's true! Honestly, I've been wanting to go for years. YEARS. To work on my marriage, to work through my own personality difficulties, and just to have someone to talk things through with. Friends I know who have gone rave about it, say everyone should have a good therapist! Yet, I never went.

Then recently I saw a video my friend Michelle posted about her experience with therapy. I watched it, and another video she posted about therapy.

I immediately texted her, asked for a referral, and set an appointment.

I've gone a few times and have to tell you…

It's life-changing.

Expensive? Time-consuming? Emotionally draining and difficult? YES. But it's life. changing.

One of the things I've been working with in therapy is finding, and speaking my TRUTH. I take pride in being 110% authentic. At times that can be challenging, as there are millions of stranger eyeballs reading and watching my every move. But it's more important for me to speak my truth than it is for me to be popular or revered.

So, in light of that, here are some truths I want to speak of:

  1. Marriage is not easy. Not even for me. And it's certainly not perfect.

On Valentine's day Bubba spoiled me rotten. Took me to a nice dinner, sent me to get a massage and facial, salsa dancing, it was great. He also took me shopping for jeans (we are both in desperate need) quickly between activities. While we were in Buckle rushing around the store grabbing jeans for each other and modeling them, the employee we had been working with observed us for a while before stating, “you guys are relationship goals.”

It made me want to be REAL and share that life isn't always as it seems…especially on social media.

Yes, we have fun together. Yes we can laugh and have a good time. Yes we post those good times on social media. And yes, maybe we are even good at picking jeans out for each other. But we are certainly not the poster-children for perfect relationships and have hard times (which do NOT get put on social media) just like everyone else.

Marriage is not easy, and it is not perfect. I want everyone to know that I truly believe that and there is no shame in admitting when something is hard. But that with hard work anyone can get through hard things!

2. Just because I'm an adult doesn't mean I know what I'm doing.

I'm 30. I've got 5 kids. I live in a grownup house. I drive a minivan. I've had jobs, travelled, pay the bills, grocery shop, and do all the things that grownups do. (Feels weird, right??)

If there's one thing I've learned lately, it's that just because I'm “grown up” doesn't mean I have all the answers. It doesn't mean I don't make mistakes. It doesn't mean that I automatically know how to handle tough situations.

Being an adult is hard!

BUT…(bringing me to my 3rd point…)

3. It's never too late to figure out who you are and WHY.

I'm a busy body. I love being busy; thrive on chaos, actually. I love having lots of people around me, fueling energy to others, trying new things, go-go-going, having fun, adventures, completing tasks, all of it. A slow day is sometimes agonizing for me. I love to be busy, stay busy, and get shtuff DONE!


The downside to being busy is that it's easy to bury…stuff. It's easy to keep things surface-level, sometimes for years, because being constantly on-the-go doesn't allow time for things to surface.

Lately I've tried to slow down. I've cut back on blogging, cancelled a few activities for my kids, and have been trying to find time throughout the week to just…think.

I've only started doing this recently and


It's intense. It's like the floodgates on my emotions have been opened. I'm thinking through things I haven't dealt with in years. I'm questioning things. I'm analyzing the WHY behind things. I'm weighing choices. I'm thinking about what I need to do better at. I'm really trying to nail down WHO I am, and WHY.

Another truth?…

I'm not exactly sure why I felt compelled to write this post.

I guess I just want you to know that right now…I'm trudging along like everyone else. I'm sludging (is that a word?) through hard things, trying to sort through it all.

I also want you to know that everything I post in my crazy, fun, zany, light-hearted Instagram stories is real. It's true. It's authentic. I'm speaking my truth in those moments. I don't fake the laughs. I don't make up the fun in dance class. I don't fabricate those moments with my kids. I believe in finding fun and joy in pretty much any situation and love sharing it in order to (possibly, hopefully!) bring some fun and joy into YOUR life as well.


I wouldn't be speaking my truth if I didn't let you know that we are in this together. Whatever hard things you have going on in your life right now, I'm there with you. I've got hard things too. Whatever challenges you are working on? I've got a whole lotta challenges I'm working through too. Insecurities? Marriage problems? Relationship challenges? Physical struggles? Whatever it is, I'd be lying if I didn't say that I, along with just about anyone reading this I'm sure, are working through struggles too.

No one is perfect. Nothing is perfect. There is no such thing as “easy”…because even the best things in life take work.

I'm working on finding and speaking my truth, and can only hope for all of you to join me in doing the same. For anyone who is considering therapy for one reason or another…don't hesitate…just GO!

Now, if you don't mind, my truth is telling me it's time to go to bed. Thanks for taking the time to come with me on this crazy journey I call life. I TRULY have love for everyone reading this. Doesn't seem possible, but I do…and that's the truth. XO


  1. Stephanie

    It’s important to take care of yourself too. I appreciate the raw-ness of this post and I hope that you recognize you’re not alone.
    I’m 25. My husband and I are both active duty military and expecting our third child Apr. 9th.
    Our entire LIFE is a sh* show. Complete highs and complete lows. Sometimes, complete lows frequently through a short period of time, but hey, we’ve made it this far!
    Keep having fun. Keep enjoying life. Always remember that those “lows” are often what gives us the best highs.
    Also, keep posting because I’m new to this site and (trust me) I’m learning a lot of really great things from you.
    Keep up the good work!

  2. Dale Phillips

    Thank you for sharing this! I’ve read your blog for years and I just love you more and more. There are far too few bloggers being open and honest about the not-so-perfect aspects of life, it’s so refreshing to see. I also have been wanting to give counseling a try, not because anything’s “wrong” but I figure, we all have issues, why wait until something terrible happens (ime. your marriage falls apart, etc)? Thanks again for sharing. You keep doing you Jordan!!!

  3. Shalise Benjamin

    I think you wrote this because others needed it just as much. YOU have no idea how much♡

  4. Natalie

    I love that you are real! Real life is hard. It isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. And people really need to know that marriage is hard. Two people are not always going to think the same way or do things alike. That causes conflicts, that is life. My marriage has been through a lot and at times was incredibly hard. Not many people know that but I have felt at times I have needed to share that with someone who may be traveling the same path and needs help. Thank goodness for therapy! Oh how I love it! Sometimes it is just nice to know you aren’t crazy and there is a reason you feel a certain way. It is hard but you come out with so much more than the difficult conversations. I’m grateful for your honesty and knowing others go through the same things that I do. You aren’t alone and there is always someone out there to relate to. Love you!

  5. Cheyanne

    UGH. I love this. It’s just what I needed too. I just made this huge move from California to Utah and I’m LOVING it here. SO SO SO MUCH. But things still aren’t quite right. And I’m realizing the “problem” wasn’t California. The “problem” isn’t me either. I’m not a problem. But there are some things I could stand to work through. For sure.

  6. Julie Gordon

    This is a wonderful testimony. I (Julie) am a therapist and I love working with women to help them sort things out and find their way. In client asked me once if she could call me her life coach instead of therapist! That stigma still exists. But I am a life coach, cheerleader and advocate! Good for you for taking this step

  7. Lisa

    Jordan. I love knowing that you are able to be open with us. Like many others I totally needed this too. I find a lot of similarities in our personalities and I know personally I have a lot of struggles too! But you are awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Good on you for getting to therapy!!!

  8. Taryn

    Love this…your story just might help save another Mom!

  9. kate

    Thank you for being you…the fun, smart, raw you! Not many would be as open and honest as you are and that is why your readers love you more each day/post! Therapy is amazing and many more people should go. An outside perspective helps to focus you. Loved it when I went! Keep being you!

  10. Jen milian

    Love you authenticity and vulnerability! Thanks for sharing!! I’m right there with ya!

  11. Bonnie

    I go to therapy too! It’s incredible so far and I recommend it to anyone even if they don’t have “huge problems”. It never hurts.

  12. Danielle

    Therapy has helped so many people. The older u get the more u spend time with your own thoughts & learn to embrace them. There is peace in solitude. You r a rock star & thank u for keeping it real.

  13. Cyndy

    Life is a journey you must do yourself. Even with husbands and friends. You have alot to give every day to meet the needs of your children. take good care of you!!! be well

  14. Kristin Gippetti

    Thanks for sharing jordan! Its easy to get caught up in the “well she seems to have it all together” and then you start looking at yourself. All moms have the same troubles and pains. Its great for us all to be honest about it. ❤

  15. Kimberly Duran

    One of the best things I ever heard my pastor say was that his desire for our church was that it would be a places where it’s ok to not be ok. Man did I love that phrase. I am not ok all the time and it’s so humbling to know that I serve a God who still loves me when I’m not ok! Thank you for being raw and honest and real. Most of all for being truth!

  16. Lauren

    Jordan-you sweet, awe-inspiring, fun, modest, amazing online friend that I’ve never met 😉

    Thank you for sharing. I think it’s important to post things like this and not just the beauty and seeming-perfect. Perfect gets sickening after a while and way too hard to relate to.

    I’m sorry if things have been rough lately. I firmly believe that those challenging times are the ones that define who we are; how we handle them and whether or not we turn to the one who knows us best (HIM, of course). These experiences stretch and grow us to our full potential and allow us to have empathy for others when they’re struggling with similar situations.

    Hugs and enjoy your therapy 😉 (and stop staying up so late! lol)

  17. Cassie

    Jordan- You freaking rock!! And I love you more for being vulnerable and sharing a part of your journey with us all. I turned 30 last year, will be celebrating 10 years of marriage this summer, struggled with primary infertility for 3.5 years, (blessed with 1 miracle child ?) and now am facing 5+ years of secondary infertility, have gone through some MAJOR crap with my hubby since day one, moved 3 times, coped through multiple job changes, struggled with major health issues (almost died in 2014- but thank the Lord for 3 blood transfusions ??) AND on top of that, we’ve done MORE marital/individual therapy than the average person on a drama talk show. ????

    I don’t say all this to brag– But rather I’m trying to show that you really aren’t alone. I applaud you for your bravery in seeking professional/mental help, because people “suppressing” their problems, struggles and trials is far too common, too complacent, and too dangerous to be blunt. So kudos to you for learning to find balance, harmony, and tools to help you succeed in your private life. We ALL could benefit from counselling. We ALL need it. More than we realize and more OFTEN than we realize too.

    Appreciate your thoughts and your willingness to be an example of a true Warrior Woman! You’ve got this. ??

  18. Jill

    Unbelievable… I can’t tell you how nice it is to read this from you, Jordan. I am a constant follower of you… I almost feel like I’m creepy because I love seeing your life. I love seeing you busy, having fun with your kids, going on all your fun trips, doing all your awesome activities… And even the fun that you share with Bubba! It all seems so perfect and too good to be true. At times I’ve even thought that I wish I could have a life like you! (Isn’t it amazing how social media really changes our way of thinking… And mostly not in a positive way!?)
    As you state, social media does seem to only show the “glamour” of our lives. So how could we not know that you were going through this other “stuff!!!!”
    It really is refreshing to hear you write these words, because yes… Marriage is so difficult! It’s something that my husband and I struggle with as well! A LOT! But, we’re not giving up… we work on it… It’s a daily workout! BUT…it’s SO HARD!!!
    This is so weird to read this post of yours today because since I follow you and watch everything you post, I had a dream about you last night that I met you…finally! (Would love to participate in one of your Girls Nights Out in Portland! :-)LOL…) Anyway,
    I was so excited in the dream and when I met you and Bubba at a restaurant with my husband you looked completely different… You had three eyes, yes 3, ? but only from a certain angle. And you were large ( I was shocked how could this be when I see you in your Instagram videos dancing!) and Bubba’s hair was all messed up and really long! I thought to myself…this is NOT Jordan this is not how I see her on social media. I was so confused!
    But, perhaps this just fortifies all these words you are saying to us… What we don’t see behind the scenes is true life.
    Weird dream huh??!!!
    Anyway… i’m with you girl… And I’m so happy you shared this with us today! Thank you Jordan! Thank you for speaking TRUTH!

  19. Ally

    Thank you. Just thank you for writing this post. ❤

  20. Lacey Placey

    Isn’t it so funny and interesting how when we slow down we have to deal with emotions, thoughts, and baggage! About a year ago I had to shut my store down due to my husband moving an a sick baby in the hospital for 6 months. I suddenly had all day/night to think, to be, to process and to question. I grew so much that year! It was hard going from nonstop go to nonstop sitting in a hospital by myself. But it was the greatest thing that ever happened to me! I’m forever changed in so many ways! I’m excited for you as you grow through your process! Good for you for choosing to slow down even if just a tiny bit! Good luck! ?

  21. Dani

    Thanks for sharing your heart. Blessings to you on this journey of discovery.

  22. JOKJ

    Prayers from one imperfect woman to another! ?

  23. Jimmy

    I love this so much Jordan!! I’m a major believer that we all need a little therapy. There’s just no way to even begin to understand all of the things that are affecting your happiness without someone there who can help point them out. I am so happy for you! And thank you for sharing your journey with the rest of us 😀

  24. A

    Hi Jordan,

    Thanks for being so open and honest! Have you ever heard of Carol Tuttle (a fellow Mormon)? She has a company called Live Your Truth (I know, right!!?), and her mission is to help people find themselves and live their truth. I’ve read two of her books, one that explains her system and one on parenting. They’re both life-changing! I would suggest you check her out. You might find what she has to say helpful. Her website is caroltuttle.com, but you’ll get the most understanding of what she does by checking her books out of your local library. Her books are called “That’s just my nature: A Guide to Living your truth” and “The Child Whisperer.” (I bet you can guess which is the parenting book :D). Good luck!

  25. JessB

    Good for you!

  26. Regina Geraghty

    So honest jordan life is tough at times for every human being .it’s so good and beneficial to take time out and reflect .life is so much easier to cope with . You go girl best of luck in therapy . Your Ireland follower Regina ?

  27. Jennifer

    Thank you Jordan. Your post some how gave me the go ahead to admit that i too am trying to discover myself. While i may be a few years your senoir i have been running around being everything to everyone, mom, wife, friend, etc. This year I have decided to start with me. Thank you

  28. Jess

    You are amazing!! So proud of you and the example you set .. xo stay strong girl !

  29. Tiffany Davis

    Thanks for sharing your authentic self Jordan! It just makes us love you even more! It can be easy to get caught up in other people’s “perfect” social media lives and seeing the real you just makes it easier to relate to you instead of just envy you haha. Keep doing you!

  30. Leslie

    Thank you! I have followed you off and on for years. And you’re right, I forgot you were human. ?You seemed like you have it all out together. But reading this reminded me that everyone is fighting their fight. And it meant so much to read that you are with me as I am still in the middle of a divorce and started therapy a few months ago. It has really helped me start to figure out who I am as well.
    Thank you! You are an amazing person for being so vulnerable. I hope you are blessed. Know that I am with you as well as you sludge through your struggles. ??

  31. April

    I know this is going to sound so weird but you’ve actually been on my heart the past few weeks. I don’t even know you of course. But I have felt to pray for you. You’re right. It’s so easy to bury the stuff. I’m so happy for you that you’re digging deeper. Lots of love and prayers. ❤ Thanks for sharing your heart. We all need this.

  32. Amber

    Thank you for being so transparent, Jordan! It’s wonderful that you and your family share so much of yourselves with us, and most of those moments are joyful and happy, but I appreciate you keeping it real in admitting that no one is perfect or hasomething it all together. I’ll be saying prayers for you for to get the guidance, wisdom, and peace needed during this time as you grow as a wife, mom, and woman. God bless!

  33. Michelle T.

    Oh. My. Goodness… someone who’s real for a change. Hand clap to you… I appreciate you and others like from millennium moms who are real and aren’t afraid to put it out there…. People think that some just have it all together and boy wouldn’t you know it they dont… They just have a great way of getting over it and through it I’m a mom to 4 a step mom to 3… add that up and yes that makes 7… I’m also a homeschooling mom.. and it’s hard to juggle it all but you know somewhere I find the time and patience (thank God)… My husband is Great My kids are great. One is married with a 7 month old and 1 is getting married soon. They are healthy. I. Am. Blessed!!!!

  34. Mandy

    Thank you for this post. I really needed to hear it today.

  35. Mandy

    Thank you for this post. I really needed to hear it today. I recently stumbled onto your blog and just love it!

  36. amy

    This is amazing — I think finding you was really life changing, I could not love you more! Thank you for sharing this and heck yes bringing joy into our lives! I’m trying to declutter my in-box and unsubscribe to things but YOU are keeper! 🙂

  37. Valerie

    Wow! You know it’s so true how you get to this point and life demands that you REFLECT! I think that is one of the sad things about the deterioration of the “family unit”. We have 6children and one on the way and after parent teacher conferences the other night my husband and I sat in the car for two hours having “self reflection” on our parenting and our upbringing and our children and things and plans of what we can do to make them and ourselves better….it’s exhausting! BUT completely necessary!!!! It’s nice to see someone like you say that you have this same sort of thing and that it’s hard because it IS hard!!!! I have friends who look to me and think, ” oh she’s so fun and put together and has it under control…” sometimes I just am like, “ha! Y’all have it all wrong! Just because I am doing it doesn’t mean I know what I’m doing!!!!”
    It’s a CRAZY BEAUTIFUL LIFE!!!!! Thanks for sharing!!!! It takes a lot of guts and humility!!!!

  38. Traci Rivard

    Thank you Jordan. I recently started following your blog and I love it! I can tell how real you are. I have also been to therapy and would go every week if I could! You are an inspiration. xoxo

  39. Marji

    My husband and I just had our 35th wedding anniversary Sunday. It’s been hard, lots of up’s and down’s, sickness (the big “C” word), great blessings, fun times – most things that are GOOD take a lot of work. So glad to hear you have someone to talk to. Not easy, but definitely worth it. Hugs to you Jordan.

  40. SAM

    I would just like to say that I love reading your “blog.” Words can’t express how much I gain from the few minutes I have to read leisurely. Thank you for your courage in sharing your TRUTH. It is so easy for people to share the positives and so much harder to show that you are human and experience hardships just like everyone else. Your post today, is why I continue to read your “blog.” Because I know it comes from the heart and it is honest. It feels more like catching up with your fun, little sister (which I have none) that lives in another city.
    Congrats and keep pushing. You have so many people that are cheering you on to keep fighting and just doing your best.

  41. Stephanie E

    Thank you for sharing this. I just turned 32, have been married for almost 10 years and have 4 kids. I’ve wanted to go to a therapist for years. But never have. I just want to have someone to talk to who is removed from my life and can help give me some perspective w/o judging me. Hearing what a positive experience you’ve had makes me more inclined to follow through with finding a therapist.

  42. Megan Johnson

    Thank you for posting this Jordan! I’m sure you might have hesitated posting it. It is such a relief to read this from someone I admire so much! It’s hard not to compare these days with social media. I think you are amazing and it is so nice of you to share this side of your life along with all of the fun stuff as well! Thank you!!!

  43. Rachel

    Speaking your truth reminds of me of Living Your Truth (dressing your truth). It’s a life changer and validator! aMAZing! Given this post and many other “real life/genuine” statements you’ve made, you’d love it! Let me know if you check it out!! Eek! #sparklyshirtafternoonvolunteer #BBC17 #bigsupporter

  44. Yvette

    Jordan, yup your 30. THAT MEANS ,YOU FEEL SAFE FOR THE LITTLE GIRL INSIDE OF YOU TO Come OUT AND FIGURE IT ALL out. You are allowed to be vulnerable,your doing great.hey, you are more normal then you even know

  45. Astrid Estrada

    Oh, Jordan, it’s a sad day when you feel like you have to explain being a human being to anyone else. You’ll have no judgement from me. Growing as a mother, wife, and fellow entrepreneur has forced me to take a good hard look at myself, learn myself, and love my not-so-perfect bits. My associations are particular and kept precious to my soul because I believe they heavily influence who I become and so that remains sacred. In addition I self-educate through books like “Wired That Way”, “The 5 Love Languages” and “Hung by the Tongue”. Books that teach things I feel I should have learned about as a young adult but didn’t until now (and I’m in my sexy 30’s as well ?). I truly think at this stage in our lives it is crucial to get real with myself because playing “adult” is always harder than it looks from the outside-in. Props to you for choosing this time to seek out the best resources for you and your family to move forward in your walk in life and with God (isn’t He always a part of things?)!

  46. Maureen

    Redefine the notion of “perfect” … Then assign the word to your spouse, your children, the house you live in and the life you live, as well as to you …
    Perhaps we strive for perfection because we lack contentment? I am only putting this thought out there for discussion and not as a criticism. Life may be hard, but perspective is everything. Slow down. Appreciate running water and grocery stores. Marvel at the fact that each day your children learn at least one new thing. Eagerly await the arrival of the mail or a phone call or even a new comedy on tv. Really, really enjoy a sunset. Jupiter is amazing from here in the Canadian north …
    Find yourself on the big graph of your life and consider that you may be at a peak and need to slide a little before the next big hike.
    And always, always remember that when a child begins to walk they fall so many times we wonder why they keep it up. And we shout out “you got it” and “keep going” and “yes!” because, well … yup … Because they are perfect …

  47. Chaunie Brusie

    It must be something about hitting 30, because you described where I’m at to a “t”. The WHY behind my “success” is the biggest thing for me, and also why I started therapy (last week!). I’m hiding behind accomplishments and using them as a way to bring myself self-worth and it’s time for that to stop. It’s scary but very freeing at the same time. Good luck and thanks for keeping it real. You’re still #goals.

  48. Penny

    Jordan, thank you for this post!! It definitely struck a cord with my soul. That there IS another wife, Mom going through struggles just like me. Our world is soo crazy busy, at times chaotic and it is so easy to get lost in the busy.
    I for one think you are a wonderful person and appreciate you sharing and for Keeping It Real Momma!!♡

  49. Katie

    Jordan! LOVE you so much. Just as you say you love us – we love you back. I’m so glad you have great followers/friends/freebs so you know you can open up and be *mostly* safe. (We all know there are the FEW…)

    Anyway! I’m wearing my Perfectly Imperfect t-shirt today! We are in the same boat! Life, marriage, kids – they’re hard. Do your best and get help from wherever you can find it. You deserve it and to be happy and to struggle and to find joy and to have the trials that help you turn into the best YOU.
    Have a perfectly imperfect day – and enjoy it as much as possible. And know you are loved.

  50. Heather

    Thank you so much for this post. It really spoke to me as I’m going through something similar. xo

  51. Jeanie

    Love and light to you Jordan! Thank you so very much for sharing!

  52. Erin

    Thank you, Jordan.

    I’ve been wanting to go to therapy for a while, too, but I don’t know where to start. You were able to get a recommendation, but I don’t know anyone who is going to a therapist…or at least telling me they are. 🙂 I’m not sure how to find the right one for me. Like you, I’m a genuinely and usually happy person (what’s there not to be happy about, right?), but have some things that I need to address to make me and the ones I love MORE happy — or at least not bring them down. You know?

    Anywho, congrats! Thank you for sharing and good luck!


    I’ve said this before, but I have to say it again…. You are the easiest person for me to relate to! I am turning 26 (on March 8th ?) and have 5 kids and a husband…. You help me keep my sanity haha. I too am always staying busy and “don’t have time to” deal with my own emotions and things I have going on because I’m so busy trying to make sure everyone and everything else around me is OK and running smoothly . I am the pro at keeping things under the surface and hiding it if I am feeling a bit off. I know what you mean when you say the smiles and laughter are real, but the struggles exist too. I don’t know what you are going through, and I can’t imagine how much you have to keep up with, but just know that you are making a difference whether you are talking about the good or the difficult. I’m planning some major changes and organizing my life while trying to keep the impact on the family low and trying to be a good wife, as I’m sure you an relate to, and it really is HARD. As weird as it may sound I feel like we really are friends and watching and reading your life is almost therapy for me because I just feel like I can relate to you so well. Hang in there girl and keep being TRULY AMAZING!
    You make a difference in my life believe it or NOT. Email me if you need someone to bounce ideas off of, or talk to, or anything. You really do help me and if I can, I would like to help you. We are on that crazy roller-coaster ride called wife and motherhood and we will enjoy and struggle through it together haha.

  54. Lauren

    Jordan, thank you for sharing this! You are such an inspiration to so many of us that follow your blog and BBC for focusing on getting finances in check and faith and family in the forefront. Now you’re reaching out to others in a totally different way and I have no doubt that’s inspirational to someone too. We support you!

  55. Tracy

    Sending you much love Jordan. I am a new follower and truly enjoy your posts. Social media is tough. We feel pressure to be the perfect mom, perfect wife, perfect friend, etc.. I think we oftentimes forget to take care of ourselves. I appreciate you wanting to be real and share your heart. I think it’s what a lot of us young moms need to see and hear.

  56. Danielle

    Love love love this. We pay for courses and classes and programs, workout series and kids sports things… But forget that Therapy and counselors are a specific ‘program’ or ‘courses’ for our personal development and we’re lucky to have amazing personal resources like these. So glad you shared. Love your transparency and open heart.

  57. Heather

    Thank you for opening up! Sometimes you just need to get it all out of there to start the healing process! My husband and I have been going to therapy for over a year and a half and I am so very thankful we did! We were in trouble and now we know where to go and how to get through the hard stuff without wanting to walk out! Keep on sludging and we will be right there sludging along with you!

  58. Rachel Pearson

    Thank you for sharing this. I feel like it was meant for me to read this post tonight.

  59. Kayla

    Totally appreciate this. Maybe it’s the turning 30 thing but I feel like I am failing at everything. Wife,mother and other commitments in my life. I feel like I am ruining my children. (Not wanting an pity) just the feelings that I am sure Satan wants every mother to feel. Family is the truly the fundamental unit of society. So thank you again for sharing that everything isn’t picture perfect

  60. Casandra Heilig

    Thank you for all you do, I think you are amazing and should be applauded. I started a blog last year, and have only posted… twice? It seems so daunting, especially when I think no one will read it. But you inspire me to blog for me and I appreciate that. Much love to you, keep doing what you’re doing! You inspire me constantly! And in the spirit of self care, I went to the gym today for the first time in 297 days, the worker at the desk actually welcomed me back! But I thought “if not now, then when?” this morning and step by step I’ll get to where I want to be… And maybe can even blog about it. ?

  61. Meg

    Thank you for being so real!


    Hey Jordan, hope you are feeling better!
    I just wanted to drop by and say HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! It’s my birthday too so it’s easy to remember yours haha. Have a great day and an amazing year!

  63. Sarah

    You are amazing. Thank you for being so honest and truthful. I’ve had a hard few month too. I’ve been dealing with anxiety that came out of nowhere. I have a wonderful husband, marriage, and two beautiful kids. Adulting is hard. Going into my spirituality has been amazing. You got this! Xoxoxo

  64. Andrea

    This is fantastic, seriously. Thank you!

  65. Cindy

    I love your honesty. I love therapy, and wish more people would just make that appointment! I wish therapy was way more mainstream. I recommend therapy to people at least once a week, and probably more. It is so nice to be able to work through emotional issues and our “junk” with someone with the tools to help us unravel it all and actually make changes. So thank you for speaking your truth!

  66. Sarah willoughby

    I’ve just started BetterHelp counseling online…. it’s taken away so much of the mum guilt, and family guilt. I needed something like this, and online works for me because I’m shy and weird and I hate appointments (I’m the opposite of you,I love slow days!). I’m happy you’re feeling better. Yes, it’s good to appear amazing, but I’m happy you showed this post to us. I did wonder how you could stay perfect al the time – 5 kids in 7 or so years is a looooooot. I have 3 in 9 yrs and even I am sometimes like holy crap how is my house like thiiiiis?!
    Loved your recent freezing video too xxx love from Australia xxx sarah


    I love your spirit. Its my first time visiting your page but you are echoing my “right now.”
    Thank you for being open about being transparent about who you are and self discovery even in adulthood. Thank you thank you.

  68. Cherie

    Thank you for being so open and honest. Admiring is hard!!!! Their is so shame in going to therapy! I love how real you are!!

  69. Macey

    I love this so much. Thanks for being so real and open! It is so refreshing! You are who I look forward to hearing from on Social Media!

  70. Tess Faust

    Hi, Jordan. I’m Tess. I’ve only recently started following you. I love watching your YouTube videos! I think your a hoot! I come away feeling happy and motivated. I won’t share my woes with you; too much Debbie Downer here. You have inspired me to START. I have started my consumables sheet. I am a meal planner, make a list from that, and go shop. This will make all that so much faster. Now, I won’t need to inventory each time I meal plan! I am also going to START the spending freeze next week. I’m so excited about taking the money I didn’t spend and putting it into savings instead of spending on things I don’t need. I am going to check out the envelope budget. You and Bubba have me trying to figure out Google calendar, and planning for the year.
    As for not knowing for sure about so many things, I honestly think that’s part if life. Because you’ve realized all of these areas you aren’t sure about, that, in itself, shows you’re on the right path. I realize this is old, but I just felt so compelled to respond.
    Have a beautiful and safe trip.

    • FunCheapOrFree

      You are so kind! Thank you so much!!!

  71. Meg Nolan

    If it’s any consolation, even at 43 it’s the same. I struggle with the battle between what I should be, wife, mother, friend, co-business owner (..with my husband too!!) and in some ways it sometimes feels more stressful the older you get because somehow the info you ingest thru social media/friends & in all reality your own self talk suggests by now you really ‘should’ be all over it. I don’t think it really is that way though and I think it’s always a work in progress & you have to have the rubbish times to rediscover your spark. You are an incredible person and I regularly trawl your videos for both inspiration and advice ?. Thank you for being brave enough to share the emotional stuff too. It just makes you more ‘real’. You’ve got this.

    • FunCheapOrFree

      Thank you so much Meg!


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