We are firm believers that if you spend a little focused time with your kids, it will make a world of a difference! Help your kids better their confidence, motivation, and daily attitudes. We're going over how to make quality time with kids by focusing on one of our favorite parts of the day, tuck in time!
As you probably know, we have 8 young kids, 10 and under. Yes…our house is always messy, and yes, they fight like cats and dogs some days. Once upon a time, we felt like their negative behavior was escalating more than usual. They were getting more negative attention from us than we liked. We took something my parents use to do in our house growing up, and added our own Page twist to it that has now changed our world for the better!
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This new system of quality time with kids helps you to get focused one-on-one time with them, which is so important for that parent-child bond. Bonus? It helps to motivate them during the day, cuts down on the bickering, and gives them a special day during the week to do some fun things, including Tuck In Time.
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Watch the video online HERE or click and watch below:
Crazy-simple, right?? Let's go over a few of our favorite tips for making quality time with kids work for your family.
FIGURE OUT WHAT AGE YOU WANT TO START
It's amazing how choosing to give some extra focus and attention to a single kid throughout the week can really make a difference in their attitude and confidence. We start doing this when they start going to school and spend a lot of time away from Mom and Dad, which is usually around 4 or 5. The younger kids who are home with us all day get plenty of focused time, so they don't really need it like the older kids do.
However, if you don't stay at home with your kids during the day, then feel free to start this at a younger age. If you have a child who is struggling for attention, they are sure to love our quality time with kids method.
WHAT THEY GET TO DO ON THEIR SPECIAL DAY
Your kids will be so excited when their “special day” rolls around. We've had lots of success by letting them be in charge of choosing these items. You'll be amazed at how doing this will reduce the amount of bickering over the things that seem so little to you, but are so big for the kids.
Let them choose:
- All of their dinnerware – plate, cup, fork, spoon, bowl, etc.
- Where they sit at the dinner table
- What music you listen to in the car
- Where they sit in the car if they're old enough and aren't in a car seat or booster seat anymore
- What show they watch after school (after their clipboards are done, of course!)
- What music you listen to when you're cleaning up dinner
The sky's the limit here! You could definitely include more in their special day if there are other things your kids are constantly wanting to be in control over.
OUR FAVORITE QUALITY TIME WITH KIDS – TUCK IN TIME
At the end of their special day, they get to do something that has easily become everybody's favorite time of the week. They get to stay up an extra 15 minutes for some one-on-one Tuck In Time with Mom or Dad. Bubba and I rotate days, so we each end up getting quality time with each kid during the week.
IDEAS FOR QUALITY TIME
We basically leave it up to the kid to choose what we do during Tuck In Time since it is their special day. What may seem fun to us may not necessarily be fun for the kid. For the most part, we try to stay away from screens because they keep you from interacting together. That being said, sometimes after a long and rough day, we'll let them choose an educational or interactive show where we can at least talk about what's going on.
Here are some of our favorite quality time with kids activities:
- Talk about your day
- Play board games
- Read a book together
- Play with their favorite toys
- Write a story
- Fill out mad libs
- Tell/make up jokes
- Play with stuffed animals
- Sing your favorite songs
- Have a puppet show
- Talk about their dreams and future
- Do a puzzle
- Build Lego masterpieces
- Color
There are so many other options out there, but those should get your wheels turning!
HOW TO MAKE QUALITY TIME WITH KIDS
Alright, so let's get into the nitty gritty of how to actually work this into your week. You have to stay consistent in rotating your kids throughout the week. This will establish it as a routine and they'll come to know it and love it! They may be upset at the beginning when it's not their day, but they'll quickly learn to look forward to their special day!
Saturdays are usually pretty crazy for us, so we've decided to skip that day since we wouldn't be able to consistently let it be somebody's special day where they would for sure get Tuck In Time. Whatever days you choose, make sure they're usually pretty “normal” so nobody is ever getting left out of their special day.
Depending on how many kids you have, you can give them a specific day of the week. You can also rotate their days if you have more kids than days. Just make it work for your family!
It has been fun to see what songs they want to listen to and the things they want to do with us at night. I really look forward to “my night” with the kids so much!
HOW TO “FIND” THE TIME
If this all sounds great to you, but you're just not sure how you'll find the extra time in your day to do this, we've got just the thing! Productivity Boot Camp is the perfect way to help you learn how to organize your day and be more productive. The online video program will help you to free up your day for the things that are important to you, such as Tuck In Time!
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Alright, well there you have it! Try out our method of getting quality time with kids and let us know how you like it. Do you do anything like this with your kids? If you do, share below so we can learn how you do it as well! It's a simple thing, but I hope it helps bring some peace to your home as it has ours so far.
Looking for more great ideas?
- Use this list of conversation starters to help you have meaningful conversations with your kids that will get you past the “fine” and “good” answers!
- We love strong and happy families! Start doing these 5 daily activities that will strengthen your family.
- Stuck in the dinner rut? We've got the ultimate list of dinner ideas!
XO,
Ours isn’t always at bedtime, but we call it “together time.”
Oh I love that name!
We did this for a while and I too thought it was a lifesaver. We called it “the kid of the day” and we got the idea from Rach over at Family Ever After blog. We haven’t done it for a bit but I keep thinking we need to do it again so thanks for the motivation!!
Kid of the day? Love that!
Best idea ever!
Thanks! Hope it works for you too!
This idea is so great! I love watching your videos. You are such a natural in front of the camera.
Aw thanks Ashley!! XO
What a great idea! I’ve been making it a point lately to spend one-on-one time with my kids every day, it makes a world of difference for behavior and general happiness in our home–I’ve also found when I give them that attention they’re more willing to listen when I do need to discipline. My parents used to do a similar thing with each of us having our special day of the week; some of the things we got to do were choosing the movie, sitting in the front seat of the car (when we were old enough), and licking the beaters if Mom made any goodies that day. It also was our dish day, so it was like a balance of privilege and responsibility.
Love it! Especially the licking the beaters part 😉
Can you give more details on how bed time works. If you have 5 kids and its Tuck’s day what happens to the other kids vs. to Tuck?
Love this. My kids love when they are the ‘special helper’ at school, so it makes sense to do that at home too!
We do the same thing! I have two girls, now 11 and 8, who rotate getting to be the “Princess” for the day! This saved us back when they were like 7 and 4 after I had read the Parents article one day on summer break. We were together all day every day, so we tried the KOD system. It has been the easiest way to solve little and big arguments. My girls even came up with the idea to trade days so each can be the princess on their birthday! So sweet! I agree with you, Jordan, by giving my girls the consistency of the rotation, they freely give in to the small things because they understand they can have their free choice the next day!
~Jess
http://www.parents.com/parenting/better-parenting/positive/kid-of-the-day/
This is awesome thanks for sharing!
So question… how do you handle it when one of the others throws a fit because they aren’t happy with one the choices that the chosen one picks for seating arrangement or music etc.?
Fits aren’t allowed in our house. If someone is throwing a fit we will physically remove them until they cool down. We will put them in the car, outside, or in their rooms. Not a punishment, it’s just a “we don’t throw fits so go get it out of your system and I’ll come get you when you’re calm.” Even our 2 year old. And we just tell them to be patient because they will get their turn! Eventuallhy they will trust in the system!
We are really inspired to try this with our 2,5,7 year olds! Thankyou!
We are so going to try this with our 2,5,7 year olds!
Let me know how it goes!
Oh my gosh! What a great idea! I would LOVE to try this with my boys. My challenge is I am now a “single parent”. My ex-husband only takes the kids every other weekend, no extra days- not even in the summer time AND my 3 year-old grandson is living with us for the time being. They are CONSTANTLY fighting and bickering. What am I to do with the other 2 kids while we’re doing the 1-on-1 time? Arg! I’m seriously ready to pull my hair out!
That’s so hard! You’ll just have to do it while they are sleeping, or stick a movie on for the others? Just do what you can!
My friends do this and they just rotate who is “Kid of the Day”!
My parents did “night out with dad” and each weekend took one kid out with a $$ limit. Also every day we got 20 minutes a day with each of them. Being able to say at a moments notice ‘this will be my 20 minutes’ was nice to get that attention or get that ride somewhere. I always felt special when they took that time with us. There were 6 kids.
I love that you and Bubba do Tuck in Time with your kids! I’m finding out as my two kids get older that one on one time is really important. This is a great way to make them feel special!
I really need to start implementing this!! I have 3 boys that are constantly fight over songs, who get to sit in the “front” seat etc.
so I have three boys 3,6,8 -Question – – say it’s not bed time and the two boys that don’t have “their day today” start fighting over a random toy – then how do you approach it?
We only had two kids, one born on an even day and one on an odd day so that determined whose day it was. In months with 31 days we went to the month to determine if it was odd or even. To this day, family meals are still determined by odd/even UNLESS one of the grand kids wants to say the prayer at meal time.
This idea is amazing and I totally get it, but its not working at all for my kids :c
We been doing it for 2 weeks and they love their “special time” but itd not helping them not to argue with one another.
We really want to try this but I know at the time of the video, you had only been doing it for a few weeks. We were wondering if you were still doing it, if you made any changes, or if it’s still helping with the arguing?
My mom didn’t do this per se, but it was similar. I’m second oldest of 5 and we were ALWAYS fighting over who got to help with making dinner, cleaning up dinner and setting out the dishes ect. I can only assume she got sick of it and decided to give us each one night to be dinner helper (as we got old enough became dinner maker and a younger sibling was helper). The dinner helper got to help/make dinner, and sometimes pick what to make. Whomever got to make dinner didn’t have to clean up dinner. It was super fun and we all learned how to cook! I remember making my own grilled cheese sandwiches with very little help by 6 or 7.
I’m so glad you put this video out because I have been wanting do spend more time with the kids especially since I’m about to start work and it’s summer time and I completely forgot about the dinner helper idea. I LOVE your twist on having a WHOLE day for each kiddo. The older three of my 4 ( ages almost 8, 5, 3.5 and 1.5) would LOVE this. I’m definitely going to start doing this now (literally going to make up a schedule and start today when they get home from school).
That’s so fun that your mom did that with you and your siblings! Have fun making your schedule for your kids and putting it into play! I hope that it goes well for you!
Jordan I don’t see how you do it without loosing it, and you are about to have EIGHT, I have only two boys (a 7 yr old & a 3 yr old) and it just never stops between the both of them, oh my and especially out in public I try to pick and choose my battles, I try to ignore them sometimes, I’ve done time outs I’ve done reward systems etc etc etc, what makes it a little more challenging is my oldest is ADHD/ODD & has mild SPD. So everyday for my oldest are CONSTANT reminders of the same exact things over and over throughout the day, we do not believe in getting him medicated at such an early age.
Oh mama, that’s so tough! I think the best thing is just to figure out what works best for your family and go for it! What works for one may not work for another. And even what works for one child may not work for another! Just try to see how each of your boys responds to certain things and then go with what works best for each one. The biggest key is consistency once you decide which route you’re going to go. Get your hubby and anyone else who watches them on the same page so that they’re having the same rewards/consequences. Once they know what to expect, it’ll get easier! Hang in there, mama, this won’t last forever! XOXO
Jordan now that you have 8 kids (I am assuming you still don’t do this with the younger 3), have your had to shorten this to one night a week per kid?
Yes and they love it! 🙂